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    September 14

    让我惊醒的梦

        在十分钟之前,我做个一个让我惊醒的梦,其实梦的内容并不可怕,不知道为什么我会有这样的感觉。
        梦的内容让我有一种和以前生活相当熟悉的感觉:和一般同学放学坐在公交车上,但这班人是社会上认识的需要防范和应付的角色对象。和旁边的女朋友说今晚有方向的,问她有没有兴趣,又是很熟悉的那段出去混酒吧的日子的桥段。然后到了终点站,我就下车了,车站离我家很近,我提着买的晚饭——泡面,就走了。走到门口才发现这是我新租借的房子,底楼一层,老式公房,一体四户的结构,很破旧的样子。掏出一把旧旧的钥匙,钥匙上写着:XX钱眼,问了隔壁刚好出来的老伯才知道是靠楼梯的一间。打开门发现里面很凌乱很脏,需要好好收拾一下,老式的床五斗橱和衣柜那样子的家具让我头皮发麻,阳台的门还是那种铁门带栓的。房子里到处堆的房东的旧衣服,很多厚绒线衣令我很头疼,此时却突然发现我的包包落在公交车上了.......
        当我突然醒过来时我发现没有丢东西,是睡在一张床上让我松了口气,但立刻我却不知道自己睡在哪里,张大眼睛看着周围,三四秒后才发现是虚惊一场,我明明就躺在自己最温暖的床上。
        其实内容一点也不可怕,但是醒来后却很不明白怎么会因为这样一个梦而惊醒,一些好像我生活中时有发生的事情的桥段组成的一个梦,却有很多让我很难受得了的细节。受不了一个人住的时候自己提着外卖晚餐回家,受不了每次到一个新住处时完全没有熟悉感和安全感,受不了老是莫名地紧张觉得自己丢了东西。
        我很频繁地寻找自己的潜意识告诉自己的讯息,我觉得自己没有安全感,这一情况还是偏严重的。梦的内容貌似都是以前生活的桥段,都是我经历过但却好像在潜意识里面比较排斥的事情,我现在很想换一个生活方式。
        做了这个梦之后让我很不解,很疑惑,让我需要好好研究一下。

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